Spoken English: the better you are at it, the more privileged you are

Yesterday I went out for an evening stroll with my pet Bruno, who is now 13 years old and so a little slow to walk. I was talking to him in my mother tongue, Hindi – “Bruno thora tej chal lo”, “ Bruno beta papa ko late ho raha hai”, and so on. Walking in front of me was this young lady in her late thirties with her Shitzu called Rosie. As a car was approaching, she instructed Rosie in English, who immediately responded by jumping onto the pavement. The next instruction was also in spoken English: “Rosie, we are getting late, let’s go home”.

Bruno first looked at Rosie and then at me as if asking why I didn’t teach him English. That night, he was a bit restless and couldn’t sleep properly. I guessed that maybe because of his lack of understanding of English, he got an inferiority complex. The same is the case with the majority of our population. Those whose spoken English is good are considered the privileged ones. On the other hand, those who are not so fluent in speaking English fail to get the same respect. Spoken English is one of the biggest differentiators in the literate world.  I am not saying that people who don’t speak English are not learned, but somehow the colonial mentality has created this rift in the society.

Based on the fluency, spoken English can be broken down into various groups, and that is what I am going to delve into:

The Proficient ones in spoken English

How about Shashi Tharoor? One of the most learned guys who is currently a Member of Parliament and who was once in the race for the Secretary General of the United Nations. He speaks flawless English using a vocabulary for which most of us have to refer to a dictionary. Then we have our External Affairs Minister, Mr. S Jaishankar (Rajya Sabha MP), who speaks with so much confidence and logic that one just gets mesmerized listening to him.

And how can we forget Koffee with Karan – an elite club TV show where the minimum qualification required to get an interview call is fluent English. Isn’t it surprising that the trash the Bollywood club churns out these days is in Hindi, but the show is in classic English? There was a time when we used to watch a very popular show on Doordarshan in Hindi based on similar lines called “Phool Khile Hain Gulshan Gulshan”. The lady with a sweet smile, Tabassum, used to interview top Bollywood stars and connected with thousands of Hindi-speaking audience.

It was one of the Koffee with Karan shows where our lady star Kangana Ranaut, whose spoken English doesn’t fall in the category of other stars, faltered. She took Karan Johar head-on and got boycotted by the entire industry. After the encounter, there have been so many memes on social media where vocal artists try to copy her accent.

The snooty club

This club generally comprises members whose sole purpose of speaking in English is to create an indelible impression. I remember that during my sales career, I used to meet an advertising agency head who handled some really big clients, but had a handicap when it came to spoken English. One of my colleagues, who also used to meet this guy once, went along with me. And what I noticed was that while he was conversing in Hindi, our lady was speaking in English (though her spoken Hindi was also good). It was difficult for me to understand this conversation on different frequencies, but I guess she wanted to impress him to get more business.

The most comic situation is when young ladies try to converse in English with the Autowallas or the Golgappa wala bhaiya. “Baiya (actually it is spelled Bhaiya) mujhe thora extra paani chahiye” or “Baiya, do you have 100 ka khula”. It’s difficult to understand the psyche behind this spoken English conversation, but maybe the attempt is to teach the less privileged ones a foreign language. Thanks to this club, the Auto wala baiya or the Golgappa wala baiya has become smarter and now can handle visitors from the G-20 or the United Nations.

Kitty party ladies also qualify for this club. Just listen to them when they are ordering food and calling the waiter. The entire instructions are given in English. “Waiter, can you get a fresh Lime soda for me but namkeen wala?” or “Bhaiya thora cold water la denge aap”.

Mothers club

These days, I often get a chance to take my granddaughter to the kids’ play area in our society park. The evening is play time, and the kids’ play area is full of little toddlers along with their mothers. Spoken English culture has become so viral these days that you will find hardly any mom conversing in Hindi with their kids. On the other hand, the same kids, when they come to the park with their nannies or maids, get a lesson in hindi. It’s good for the kids as they get to learn both languages at the same time.

I am more comfortable speaking to my granddaughter in hindi, which is my mother tongue. But in a play area where every corner echoes with spoken English, I stand out with my hindi verbatim. At home, my daughter repeatedly reminds me that I should speak to my granddaughter in English. I told her that I had always spoken to my kids in Hindi when they were growing up. And still, both of them are good at spoken English. It’s a separate issue that I now get English tutorials.

When spoken English comes to your rescue

One thing, though, I agree is that spoken English is a powerful tool to get preferential treatment over others. Go to a bank or a government office in a small town, and if the manager is not listening, just switch to spoken English. And voila, you will be upgraded to business class from economy.

The unveiling of spoken English in various social circles

During social gatherings over the weekend’s language plays a very important role.

Men during their first round of drinks will be their normal self, with the medium of communication primarily being hindi. The preferred subject in the opening round is generally current affairs. But as the Scotch hits the 4^th round, the conversation becomes more intense in spoken English. And the topic of discussion changes to political affairs, with Modi being a favourite subject.

Ladies start their initial round of talks in English. As the subject changes from family to couture, the medium of conversation changes from English to Hindi.  The opening round is generally limited to enquiring about the well-being of kids and family. By the time the fourth round comes, the subject changes from movies to fashion trends and jewellery. The ever-increasing price of gold is a sensitive subject.

As India moves to being a Global economy, spoken English is here to stay. However, it should not come at the cost of sacrificing our mother tongue. While English will keep us connected to the world, hindi  will keep us connected to the hearts.

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